The Killing Fields- The Follow Through -

Day 5 of Biblical Relationship Series- Adoptive Families

I promised more on the parental response to yesterday’s situation.

Hurt children lash out. Like a wounded animal, they growl and bite at their rescuers. Will the parent take the bait? Will the home be a killing field?

Rejection of the parent can bring old wounds to the surface and acting on these FEELINGS can open up the door to a constant battle- a civil war home- satan’s specialty. The truth is neither the parent or the child is rejecting each other- each is rejecting himself. The child is saying, “I am not lovable, I have been rejected before and you will reject me too,” and sometimes so is the parent.

The parent is being tempted by his own evil desire to respond in the flesh. (James 1:14,15)
What is evil about wanting to be treated properly? Nothing. But, I don’t think that is really the issue here. It is deeper than that. There is a fear that this child and his ways will catapult the parent into the past hurt, so we fight what does need fought and wound the wounded. Or we think, I’m a failure because I can’t parent this child.

Dejection
Despondency
Despair
Despise
Denial
Depress

These are the tools satan and his cohort use in this present darkness to keep us in the midst of a bloody civil war. Spirits starve. Wounds fester. We stab the weak and weary with words- they fall once again into the pit- that’s the way of civil wars, there may be a victor, but no one is a winner. How can a family nation survive when it kills its own?

More next week on practical tips on how to respond (in theory) and my own story!

Follow my blog buddies in their two week trek into Biblical Relationships!