The pity party and the journal

The Journal

Sometimes I get tired, not just take a nap and feel better, but bone-weary-I- want- to- give- up- tired.  Then my brain retreats into old negative grooves, dark and damp. My Wormwood (demon receiving letters in Screwtape Letters) whispers, “Why pray?  It’s not having any effect is it? Your children break your precious heirlooms.  They don’t listen.  Your home is filled with strife.  You have no peace.  It’s only going to get worse!  Look, your children are regressing AGAIN! Give up!”

And sometimes I have a pity party complete with tissues, maybe a Hallmark movie in which a single woman saves ten thousand inner city children through art and classical music, possibly some chocolate and definitely pajamas.  Then I hear the knock.  “Hello, it’s Jesus, just wondering how long you are going to stay down there in the pit?”

After my pity party, I get out my journal.  It is my Herald, shouting out the Word and past victories. When King David got bone-weary tired of fighting the enemy, he rehearsed his past victories, so I am following the advice of royalty.  There is a catch!  When my child is struggling with Algebra and I am praying: ______ has the mind of Christ, he can do all things through Christ who strengthens him.,suppose he miraculously grasps a Algebraic concept a week or a month later, if I don’t write it down, how can I Herald it to myself? Suppose I am praying for my hurt child to accept Jesus as his savior and begin the road to healing and recovery.  He does and I don’t note it on paper.

Journals are not for wimps!  It takes discipline to write down prayer scriptures.  It requires backbone to stick to it.  I know, not everyone a journaler.  You don’t have to be.  Journals can be all sorts of things, prayer lists, Bible references, that may be enough for you.  Or maybe you like to mark scripture with sticky notes or write things on index cards that you keep on your bedside table.  I’m a little obsessive compulsive about words, so I do all three.

Circle scriptures  to pray for your children.  Write them down.  Pray.  Write down answers when they come and they will.

Some answers:

When I prayed for my pre-adopted children all those years ago,  that someone would be taking care of them.  My prayer was answered in the form of their legal guardian, Pani Eugenia- a bubbly-happy woman and a committed Catholic Christian!  She prayed for us! She went to her priest and asked if she were making the right decision to recommend us as parents.  She recommended us to the court.  She took us to the church of the Black Madonna to share her faith. Thank you Pani Eugenia!  God transcends time, culture and continent!

I’m still circling, still praying!  How about you?  Do you journal?  Have some victories to share?  Post them in the comments, I would love to hear them.