Three Fears That Keep Us From Writing And How To Conquer Them

If you’re a writer you know there are many distractions that can keep you from writing. I can list several chores that stopped me this morning before I sat down to write this.

• I just have to put those snow pants away for the season
• Pack up the purses I’m not using
• Load up the diffuser so I feel great while I write
• Wipe the counters

You get the picture. Because most authors write at home, there is the tendency to busy ourselves with chores or other temporal things that are screaming for our attention. Do THIS NOW (even if it’s June and the snow pants have been hanging on the coat rack for months being unused).

Fear Stops Me From Writing Today

If I’m honest with myself and you, it wasn’t those little chores that stopped me from writing. It wasn’t a lack of discipline either. It is fear. I let fear stop me in my tracks and the chores were just there waiting to distract me. Thank you snow pants, I owe you one.

What was I afraid of? I’ll get to that in a minute. First let me say, I’ve been thinking about writing this particular topic – when fear stops you from writing a lot. I was writing this in my head when I fell asleep. I woke up thinking about it. When I worked out this morning between huffing and puffing I was thinking about how to make the write, I mean right, points. Why does fear stop me? I’m not shaking or quaking in my tennis shoes.

Fears That Stop Me From Writing

If I already had something to say and I felt as if it were important, why didn’t I sit down and write this first? We sometimes think of fear as that cortisol rush we get when we are in danger. Or we’re triggered with something and we have a stress response. Those are fear or anxiety. But there are more subtle fears. Fears that say things like:

1. You don’t have the proper education. You have a math and education degree. Why do you think you can write compelling articles and books?  Remember the lady from the publishing group who told you – “You should never write fiction. You’re not good at it.”
2. You’re not good enough to write this. Let someone else handle it. Look at so and so. She’s a successful writer. You’ll never be like her. Comparison is fear.
3. You’ve failed before. So, don’t try. You wrote a book. No one is buying it. The pre-read team didn’t even post the reviews they promised. The book is a failure and so are you.

Antidote To Three Fears That Keep You From Writing

1. You don’t have the proper education. Antidote- You can educate yourself.

Before we move on, let me tell you every one of those fears above is mine. Everything I mentioned has happened to me. That’s why I wanted to write this for you. I don’t have fancy statistics or three steps to becoming a six-figure author. I’m stating the truth. I’ve heard the criticism. Had low moments when I wanted to quit (yesterday was one). I’ve doubted. Failed. Compared. I always come back to this truth – I am a writer.

I just am. Not a writer with a degree in journalism, English, Creative Writing, or anything to do with writing at ALL. I’m a girl with a math degree who spent her free evenings and weekends scribbling poetry and story ideas in spiral notebooks. When I graduated from college, I moved to a typewriter and invested in some writing courses -some which helped, others which damaged my confidence.

When Writing Teachers/Editors Feed Your Fears

I ended up with a few teachers who wanted to critique and argue about my subject matter instead of focusing on the craft of writing. I’m only adding this for those of you who have encountered similar situations. A writing professor doesn’t have the power or authority to stop you from writing. Anything he/she says must be filtered through the lens of -Is this about the craft of writing? Something I need to work on? Or is this an opinion of his/hers that I need let go of?

Louisa May Alcott

“‘Stick to your teaching, Miss Alcott. You can’t write.’ Those were the words of one publisher who passed over the manuscript for Little Women. Alcott ignored his advice and the book went on to be well received with one reviewer stating it was ‘the very best of books to reach the hearts of the young of any age from six to sixty’. It is still a classic 150 years later.” – wildmindcreative.com

The truth is, you can get an education on writing through books, podcasts, writing groups, and classes. The internet makes it pretty easy to find educational support. And don’t think you need to educate yourself first and then write. Write while you learn.

You’re not good enough to write this. Antidote – Having a message to share trumps your feelings.

I follow lots of writers on social media and I learn from them. Sometimes when I read one of their poems or articles, I think – Why am I writing? They should write this. That’s fear. You know why? It’s the I’m not good enough lie based on shame. Shame is a fear-based emotion. Do you know why I should write this? I thought of the idea. I’ve lived it. Every scenario I have mentioned is from my life. My story. Do you know what these experiences give me? Perspective. Empathy. And the desire to reconceptualize my thoughts about writing.

Do you know why you should write that article, story, novel, or memoir? Because you have a message to share. That message is a unique combination of your experiences- things you’ve lived through and overcome. No one else can tell your story. No one else has the power to help those who are traveling the same journey you have. You have perspective, empathy, and some solutions for your reader. Don’t let fear stop you in your tracks.

You’ve failed before so don’t try. Antidote: What if I changed my mindset?

What About Failures?

I’ve failed a lot. I have books sitting on the virtual shelves that few are buying. I’ve had review teams not leave reviews. I’ve had organizations blitz me with negative comments on the internet mercilessly and relentlessly. All of the above (and more) can feed my fear and make me wonder why I’m writing. Answer: I’m a writer.

What if I change my mindset. What if I think of failure as a learning opportunity instead of a failure?

Once one of my sons (at about ten years old) watched a ton of videos on how to climb a tree and leap from branch to branch like a monkey. He called me out into the yard to watch (without telling me what he was doing). He scurried up the tree. I thought that was an amazing feat. I clapped. Then he flung himself forward sailing into the open air, missed grasping the branch, and fell flat on the ground. Later, after catching his breath, he said, “I’m not doing that again.” He’s an adventure seeker who hasn’t stopped seeking. He learns what doesn’t work and applies the knowledge.

Apply the Knowledge From What Doesn’t Work

What if we did that? We could look at our failures and say. I’m not doing a book launch that way again. Or when I write this article, I’ll expect naysayers. When all the toxic thoughts saying we’re not good enough, or those old criticisms from teachers, spouses, and friends flash across our mental screen, we capture them. We hold them accountable and put them under the scope and examine them. Are you a writer? Are these thoughts fueling your writing or binding you up in fear?

We’re going to have fears, self-doubts, criticism, distractions (snow pants in June), and feel the need for more education. Those won’t go away altogether, although we can begin to starve those thoughts and feed other ones. Keep reciting – I am a writer. Keep writing. Keep those ideas flowing. Only you can write what’s in your heart and mind. Only you can tell your story. No one else can. There’s a reason you are a writer. It’s not just to pass the time. Writing is your purpose. Someone is waiting to hear what you have to say today.