What’s growing in your life?
This is one of Ania’s wonderful nature pictures. She just finished a science unit of the kingdom Plantae including the study of mushrooms. She has a new outlook on the life form-‘disgusting!” She has informed me that she definitely will not eat mushrooms anymore. They live by eating decomposing- that means rotting- things. Gross!
Sometimes I aml like a mushroom when I try to live on rotting material. For instance, if my children are my source and they are hurt and putting out anger and I don’t turn to the Lord to fill me up, I can be a mushroom. I will start producing the anger and bitterness myself.
This afternoon, I had a mini epiphany. I was singing along while my nephew Aaron sang and played a worship song on his guitar. I messed up slightly, missing a rest and one of my teens immediately jumped on it, correcting me. “Mom, you came in too early, you missed counting the rest!” I quit singing and felt an immediate stab in the gut. The pain wasn’t so much the present correction as it was my realization. Years ago, I played the guitar and sang on a regular basis, just at home. I didn’t aspire to be on a record label or anything, I just love to sing praises to my Lord. For years, the Guires started the day with mom playing the guitar and everyone singing. Slowly, the kids’ comments ate away at my musical determination.
“Do we have to sing?”
“I don’t want to do this!”
“This is boring!”
“I am not singing your stupid songs around the campfire!”
So, I QUIT. I gave my guitar away and I quit. I gave it up for them. Now these same children have the gall to excel in music on the guitar, mandolin, and the violin, not to mention SINGING.
My epiphany? I shouldn’t have given up on what I loved because someone else complained. No, it is not my children’s fault that I gave it up. My feelings were hurt. I was the mushroom, taking in decompostion instead of maintaing my postition.
“Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.” Proverbs 3:5
I should have trusted in the Lord and not my own insight all those years ago. I am glad of this, I must have played long enough for my children to love music. Listen to them play and sing! Next time you see me I will be singing or fiddling!
